When whales explode, who has to clean it up?

This week, I think, the National Geographic Channel has imploded. They have really gone 'round the bend and tripped the light fantastic to a wacky world of completely idiotic shows. I remember growing up that a subscription to Nat Geo Magazine was THE Christmas gift of choice and it was very much appreciated. Lately though it seems that the Nat Geo folks have taken it upon themselves to try to debunk or dismantle alot of things that I believe in ie my religion, politics etc... So I tend to stay away from the channel unless something really grabs my attention. Anyway, they can do what they please because I have many other channels to entertain myself with. But now I really do not know what is going on there... Let me 'splain:

This evening I was enjoying the not-to-be-missed sparkling new Christmas special with the Miser Brothers saving Christmas, (That's Snow Miser & Heat Miser of course!) and owing to the fact that I have to be watching something interesting at all times I channel surf while commercials came on. As I clicked the clicker I ambled upon Nat Geo's hour long documentary about a whale. Ooo a big fish, I like fish, so I figured I'd check it out. It wasn't quite what I expected it to be so I clicked information I found out it was called ~ "The Whale That Exploded". I kid you not, that is what it was called, look it up if you don't believe me.

Here's the gist; a dead whale washed up on a beach in Taiwan. The local university there decided they wanted it to take apart and dabble in it for research purposes. They get a crane to load it on a truck. The crane is too small. They get a larger crane and put it on he truck. The truck is too small. They get the larger crane and put the carcass on a larger truck and drive it through the city to the university. Sounds easy right? Well it didn't quite go that way. By the time they drove the whale away it had been dead a good number of hours, kinda bloaty and it was rather warm in Taiwan. So they drove through the city the whale exploded. Hence the mindbendingly creative title for the show. This whale was 'the whale that exploded'. Riveting. Mind you they never bothered to wrap the poor creature or even cover it. Whale go boom and whale stuff goes all over the street, cars, shops and sidewalks. Not pretty.

So they of course engage experts to try to figure out what happened. Whale experts, marine biologists ~ you know all the pointy heads that have alphabet soups after their names. Why did this happen? How could this be? We must figure this out! Now I don't mean to put anybody down nor do I want to sound like a know-it-all but anybody who has lived in the country or in an area that has wildlife running free and crazy in the streets knows that when a critter dies on the road when it's hot, the gases build up inside it and sooner or later critter goes boom and then there's critterstuff all over the road. Seen it happen more than I care to remember and I certainly don't care to remember the smell of it either. Can't imagine the 'stench' of a 56 ton exploded whale carcass sweltering in the hot sun. Sushi anyone?

But the most entertaining part of the program came when they spent a good bit of time on the whales genitalia and how it 'pops' out as the carcass bloats. They say it happens all the time in nature and I guess I have to take their word on it. Evidently, they really wanted to drive that point home because they had 'before and after' photos, photos of it from the front and the back and a nice side shot of it dangling there so you could gage it's size compared to the whale. Mind you, it was as tall as I... Needless to say it was a William and NOT a Willamina.

Maybe everyone who watched tonight's show could file that bit of info away for some bizarre emergency situation that could occur in the future. There you are in a city, sweating in the hot sun when that giant whale carcass sitting there on the street bloats up and then you see Willy's (ahem) willy pop out - you know just to do! RUN LIKE HELL cause that S.O.B. is about to blow!!!! Just like we learned after the tsunami of '04, when the water pulls back and low tide is lower than ever, you know it's a darn good time to find your way inland and up the biggest hill you can get to. Maybe this show was a warning to us just in case......

You never know now do you?!