An Ode to Granny Panties

This morning while getting dressed I looked at my underwear collection and thought how sad it really has become. What used to be filled with shiny things from Fredrick's of Hollywood is now loaded with mostly white cotton comfort things from Walmart. One little imperfection on one of those shiny pairs of undies and out it went ~ and new ones were bought to replace the offending pair immediately. But now, a well worn, somewhat greying pair of granny's with elastic on it's last leg is a treasure to hang onto til that leg finally goes and it needs to finally be put out of it's misery. Then there is the mourning and a few stages of grief after the tossing out. How things change as you get older...

Since it's Saturday and I have nothing to do (except laundry, dishes, vacuuming, floor washing, toilet scrubbing, dusting, gardening and duck feeding) I looked Granny Panties up on Google and found something entertaining at the Urban Dictionary website. This is what it says:

1. A term to describe the kind of women's underpants that are considered "uncool" if you're under the age of 60, or something. In this aspect they are similar to tightie whities for boys. Granny pants are usually high cut, with a highly elastic waistband that will come up to at least your belly button. They may also come in floral patterns, pink patterns, or other "old lady" looking styles- just like any other type of underwear, actually, anything's possible stylewise.

People who wear granny underwear usually wear it because:
A) their mom bought it for them
B) they don't like thongs or bikini cuts
C) they're playing some kind of sport (oh, c'mon, you don't seriously think that all female athletes wear thongs, do you? Most "sporty" girls underpants are NOT thongs or really low cut.)
D) they just like them and don't care what others think.

Locker room:
-"Ew, you wear granny panties?"
-"Yeah, that's right, I do. Get over it. At least they don't go up my a** like thongs."

2. A pair of underwear which are usually A) larger than the woman who wears them. B) Very stretchy and elastic. C) The best pair of undies you'll ever wear.
Most people frown upon them because, as we all know, the smaller your undies are, the cooler you are. But in terms of comfort and practicality they beat thongs by a mile or more.

I wear granny panties because I'd rather have baggy undies than a string in my ass.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=granny%20panties